The Surfing Rulebook
RULE NO. 241: A wave is 18 percent better if you arrive by boat.
Rule No. 789: Unless you’re seriously injured it is not OK to ask for help with your wetsuit.
Rule No. 678: Be extra cautious around anyone wearing any sort of hat in the lineup.
Rule No. 465: Never tell anyone you’re waking up early.
Rule No. 309: Wetsuits have gotten really good. Take a leak before you paddle out.
Rule No. 52: Your tide watch is off by an hour.
Rule No. 211: Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be part of Surf PE, you will be now when you paddle out before 8am.
Rule No. 121: Wetsuits for board shorts: pick only one.
Rule No. 317: If you haven’t surfed your new gun within one year of purchase, you must sell it to someone who will, (at half the purchase price).
Rule No. 867: More accessories; less respect.
RULE NO. 145: Rashguards haven’t made a comeback yet.
RULE NO. 146: Shortjohns have (unless you’re riding a 6’1” Thruster)
RULE NO. 578: Don’t trust a surf shop without any photos of their local break going off
RULE NO. 278: If you pull back on or miss a set wave, you’re barred from taking the next one (unless no one else is around)
RULE NO. 97: She’s not as impressed as you think.
RULE NO. 40: Getting sprayed is good luck (so get over it).
RULE NO. 68: Under NO circumstance may you harpoon, and if you do, make sure you kill them.
RULE NO. 378: You’ll never fix a ding as good as your local ding guy
RULE NO. 698: If you fall while running into the water, go back and start over
RULE NO. 77: You can’t give advice to a beginner you don’t know (unless he’s in danger)
RULE NO. 95: Never tow with strangers
RULE NO. 523: You surf 50 percent better in a brand-new wetsuit.
RULE NO. 940: Gnarly locals never drink microbrew.
RULE NO. 948: Nothing's more embarrassing than putting your wetsuit on backwards.
RULE NO. 949: …Except maybe not being able to get a new pair of fins to fit in your board.
RULE NO. 298: Hanging on a nice patch of grass after a surf is better than hanging in the sand.
RULE NO. 498: Driving around in your wetsuit is bad luck.
RULE NO. 366: The car parked next to you is not into your pre-surf amp-up music.
RULE NO. 579: Vandalizing a non-local's car will ruin your next road trip.
RULE NO. 1,244: The coolness of your airbrush is in direct correlation to how well you surf.
RULE NO. 47: If you go back to the first spot you checked, you have to paddle out.
RULE NO. 312: You can never find a fin key when you really need one.
Rule NO. 310 – If you watch a webcast of an ASP event, don't comment on it as if you were there.
Rule No. 211 – A good rock jump is like your first good set when everyone’s watching: don’t blow it.
Rule No. 838 – It’s still not cool to call it a skeg.
Rule No. 491 – If you describe your last tube as an “in ‘n’ out,” it wasn’t any good.
Rule No. 660: Never say “one more” out loud.
Rule No. 389: Night surfing sounds cooler than it really is.
Rule No. 651: Surfing in a t-shirt looks better than it feels.
Rule No. 689: Building a board rack in your living room establishes that you are very single.
Rule No. 383: Never claim a tube at Backdoor, Off the Wall, or Pipeline. No matter how bad you want to.
Rule No. 430: Change your wax. Its definitely needs it.
Rule No. 311: Hype the post rain pollution, then go surfing.
Rule No. 241: Once you’ve exchanged pleasantries in the lineup, you can no longer burn them (and yes we said “pleasantries.)”
Rule No. 100: Don’t Stop Believin’
Rule No. 86: Never make a cell phone call from a surf spot; no matter who you’re calling.
Rule No. 789: Unless you’re seriously injured it is not OK to ask for help with your wetsuit.
Rule No. 678: Be extra cautious around anyone wearing any sort of hat in the lineup.
Rule No. 465: Never tell anyone you’re waking up early.
Rule No. 309: Wetsuits have gotten really good. Take a leak before you paddle out.
Rule No. 52: Your tide watch is off by an hour.
Rule No. 211: Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be part of Surf PE, you will be now when you paddle out before 8am.
Rule No. 121: Wetsuits for board shorts: pick only one.
Rule No. 317: If you haven’t surfed your new gun within one year of purchase, you must sell it to someone who will, (at half the purchase price).
Rule No. 867: More accessories; less respect.
RULE NO. 145: Rashguards haven’t made a comeback yet.
RULE NO. 146: Shortjohns have (unless you’re riding a 6’1” Thruster)
RULE NO. 578: Don’t trust a surf shop without any photos of their local break going off
RULE NO. 278: If you pull back on or miss a set wave, you’re barred from taking the next one (unless no one else is around)
RULE NO. 97: She’s not as impressed as you think.
RULE NO. 40: Getting sprayed is good luck (so get over it).
RULE NO. 68: Under NO circumstance may you harpoon, and if you do, make sure you kill them.
RULE NO. 378: You’ll never fix a ding as good as your local ding guy
RULE NO. 698: If you fall while running into the water, go back and start over
RULE NO. 77: You can’t give advice to a beginner you don’t know (unless he’s in danger)
RULE NO. 95: Never tow with strangers
RULE NO. 523: You surf 50 percent better in a brand-new wetsuit.
RULE NO. 940: Gnarly locals never drink microbrew.
RULE NO. 948: Nothing's more embarrassing than putting your wetsuit on backwards.
RULE NO. 949: …Except maybe not being able to get a new pair of fins to fit in your board.
RULE NO. 298: Hanging on a nice patch of grass after a surf is better than hanging in the sand.
RULE NO. 498: Driving around in your wetsuit is bad luck.
RULE NO. 366: The car parked next to you is not into your pre-surf amp-up music.
RULE NO. 579: Vandalizing a non-local's car will ruin your next road trip.
RULE NO. 1,244: The coolness of your airbrush is in direct correlation to how well you surf.
RULE NO. 47: If you go back to the first spot you checked, you have to paddle out.
RULE NO. 312: You can never find a fin key when you really need one.
Rule NO. 310 – If you watch a webcast of an ASP event, don't comment on it as if you were there.
Rule No. 211 – A good rock jump is like your first good set when everyone’s watching: don’t blow it.
Rule No. 838 – It’s still not cool to call it a skeg.
Rule No. 491 – If you describe your last tube as an “in ‘n’ out,” it wasn’t any good.
Rule No. 660: Never say “one more” out loud.
Rule No. 389: Night surfing sounds cooler than it really is.
Rule No. 651: Surfing in a t-shirt looks better than it feels.
Rule No. 689: Building a board rack in your living room establishes that you are very single.
Rule No. 383: Never claim a tube at Backdoor, Off the Wall, or Pipeline. No matter how bad you want to.
Rule No. 430: Change your wax. Its definitely needs it.
Rule No. 311: Hype the post rain pollution, then go surfing.
Rule No. 241: Once you’ve exchanged pleasantries in the lineup, you can no longer burn them (and yes we said “pleasantries.)”
Rule No. 100: Don’t Stop Believin’
Rule No. 86: Never make a cell phone call from a surf spot; no matter who you’re calling.
posted by ICE at
10:31 AM
1 Comments:
RULE NO. 77.5: Don't give advice to a girl you don't know in the line up. This gives her instant access to 68 you, say "oops!", giggle and paddle around you to catch the wave of the day. (She's already seen you 498, 948 and you probably borrowed her 312...Fucking 689's...)
;)
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