Similar to the invasion on Normandy in 1944 , an all out assault (surgery) will take place in my right ear canal on Wednesday, May 15th 2008 at Scripps Green Hospital in La Jolla by esteemed board certified E.N.T surgeon
Dr. Andrew Beros.
As you may know I have a condition called Exostosis of the ear which is otherwise know as "surfers ear". This is very different, but often confused with "swimmer's ear", which is a simple bullshit ear infection.
Surfer's ear, is a bone that grows in your ear canal to protect your eardrum from harsh elements like cold water & wind and eventually closes off your eardrum completely. Technically speaking, the condition can occur over time in any climate where the water temp is below body temperature; however, the development of the bony growth is accelerated by colder water and winds.
Most people born and raised in California only have issues with their right ear since that ear faces North, into the predominant winter winds out of the North West. I on the other hand, was raised on the East Coast where the predominant winter wind is from the North East. After close to 8 years out West, I am fortunate enough to have problems with both of my ears.
To be specific, surfer's ear surgery is recommended after your ear canal is more than 80% closed and my left (east coast) ear is at 90% and my right (west coast) ear vacillates between 98-100% closed. I need surgery in both ears, but much like the dentist (that I really hate to go see) they will only work on one side at a time because if they fuck up, they don't want me to be completely deaf.
There are a few different way to preform the surgery and there is allot of debate within the medical community as to which procedural method is superior. Researching my options I was eager to find the method with "the shortest recovery time" but after allot of reading it looked as if the method with a longer recovery time was better as the surgeon had better access to the problem areas and could address them more thoroughly.
The long recovery way to do the surgery is to cut behind the ear and flip the ear forward (think cutting open an envelope). Once opened using this method, the surgeon has better access to DRILL and he/she can see the landmarks in the ear so they don't fuck up and make you deaf.
The NEW School method is to go through the ear without cutting open the back and to use a MIRO-CHISEL to jackhammer out the bone. The downside is they can't see the Landmarks as well and can't remove as much bone as a result.
The ultra modern way is to use a laser to zap it out, but this ain't o.k.'d by the FDA and therefor is not covered by my insurance.
My doc has done over 1000 of these surgeries successfully, and being a primo surgeon on the west coast, deals with this type of problem regularly. He does a hybrid of the first two methods and will will be launching this "shock and awe" campaign on my ear. Basically, he goes through my ear, uses the micro-chisel to jackhammer the bone out, then breaks out the handy drill to "round off the rough edges". He said that the old school way is for surgeons that don't do the surgery allot and that since he does them so often he has become very comfortable with the new school method.
It is a real deal surgery, I get to wear a gown, an anesthesiologist puts me to sleep, then I wake up soar, in-pain and confused (sounds like one of smythes dates, I know). For the first week or so I will not be able to hear out of that ear at all. Worst of all, he says I will not be able to surf for about 3 weeks and as long as I am not a jackass and take care of myself well, probably sooner.
More to come later... Conner
